Many Moods

Hi Mom!

Oh yeah!

I'll show you!

Would you like some too?

Symi loves to share. She is so funny about it too. She won't stop until you take the item, food, or whatever she is trying to share with you. We love this sweet girl and how busy she is ALL the time!!

Over the River & Through the Woods

To Grandparent's house we'll go!

We spent a few days up in SV for a while. It was so much fun for Ben to play in the snow EVERYDAY because Grandpa was always outside and would take Ben with him! So much fun! Grandpa also gave him a bucket and shovel and he went to town playing and playing and playing. He bawled almost every time he had to come inside. He also got to play with his favorite toy there. Oodles of buttons! He wanted me to write his name with them and then left it there all day because it meant so much to him. So cute! Symi took to Grandpa right away, but really had to warm up to Grandma. (Sorry Grandma I know she wasn't trying to hurt your feelings. Just a little shy.) My parents have been applying for different jobs and my Dad wanted me to come home and get everything here that's mine incase if they needed to move. Well that was the whole reason why I went. It didn't take me too long and I was able to enjoy spending some relaxing time visiting with my parents. Here are a few pictures. ;)

Let me eat your toes!

Ben kept reading Symi the books.

Symi & Grandpa sitting at the table.

Ben's favorite toy at Grandma JoDee's house.

Showing off his name in buttons!

Ben with Grandma JoDee playing computer games.
(yes he was mining. Don't know if it was successful or not.)

Another one of Symi and Grandpa. She was starting to get sleepy.

Spring

Hello Everyone,

I realized today it's been well over a month since I've last posted. Here's a quick review.

Ben: Is struggling with being kind. It's been a long road trying to help him understand that what someone else does isn't nice and that we shouldn't do it. Even if they've done it to us. He's still learning. Back in December Ben mastered the art of going potty. He's only had 3 accidents at nights and a few during the day back in early January. He hasn't had any since and LOVES standing up to the toilet with Dad going potting together. Must be a "Male-Bonding" thing I don't understand. He is counting up a storm and loves to find any of the alphabets where ever he goes. He had his first talk in Primary, just after General Conference and asks us every week when he can do it again! He did such a good job and was SOOO cute! He loves to pray and ask for EVERYTHING. Kind of hard to explain that we can't have anything we want. But his 3 year old mind is slowly trying to comprehend. He loves to sing any kind of song and makes them up all day long. He also LOVES to sing the Primary songs and enjoys when we join him in song. We are hoping to get him into swimming lessons this year and find a preschool that we can afford. If not than we'll continue to try working with him on our own.

Symi: Is growing faster and faster all the time!! She's been crawling around for a while now and we can't seem to keep her out of anything. She is very determined and will not detour from what she wants. She's our little bull dozer. If Symi wants something she muscles her way through all of her toys to get the item. Symi LOVES to eat!!! She can't get it into her mouth fast enough and usually swallows food whole. She wants to eat off our plates all the time. It's SOO hard not to feed her!! She can't have milk in anything she eats or anything that can be acidic like tomatoes, oranges, pineapple, etc. It's hard to change our diet to meet hers. We're still working on it. It's also hard to find crackers, breads, finger foods, snack stuff without milk. So that she can feed herself, which she loves to do. She loves to bounce to any kind of music. It she's playing she'll stop whatever she's doing wiggle like she's got a boogie in her bum! It's SOOO CUTE!!!! She jabbers, squeals, squwacks, and growls all the time. Yes my daughter growls at everything and for anything. It's funny. She got her front 2 teeth several weeks ago and has been working on some more. She's sleeping better and better at nights all the time. Naps are starting to become consistant and more predictable! Finally after almost 9 months! She is now trying to stand up on things and loves to hang onto our fingers and walk everywhere. Busy, Busy, BUSY little girl!

Dane and I: We're both doing well. Trying to keep going and hoping and praying that he'll become hired. We'll know for sure at the end of May when the school year is over. If we're not hired we'll start applying for jobs and see where we end up. We've spent some time going to the temple lately and love the peace and solace it brings to us right now. The sunshine has been contagious and I've taken the kids outside a lot and for many walks with our new stroller! I love it and look forward to walking everwhere with it this summer. Maybe it I become anxious I'll even go jogging!

Going Green

So just thought I'd update everyone.

Ben:
Well he's starting to talk back a little, and becoming bossy. I guess his Mom bossing him around all day is starting to wear on him and he's grateful for a little sister to take it out on. Poor girl! At least she's patient with him. We also call Ben our "Walking Musical". Everywhere he goes he's singing and boppin to some kind of internal beat! But I guess he's been watching me too much. He also has been Potty Trained since Christmas! WOW!!! It's been a fight to even start!! Once he decided though he only had about 8 accidents and none were poopie! Miracle?! No I deserved it after all he's put me through with his health!! This I consider my Christmas Bonus!! Ben also LOVES puzzles and reading, reading, reading!! We've missed going to the Library this winter because of Symi's health. I just couldn't bring myself to getting "mini-peetree dishes" into our home and risk Symi getting sick. Nope it wasn't worth it. But hopefully soon we'll go back for more. Ben also is totally absorbed in Dinosaurs right now. He loves any kind of movie, book, or plastic toy that is associated with them. He received dinosaurs for Christmas and plays with them all the time! He LOVES primary! Ben is so obedient and very reverent. He is such a mellow kid and loves to sit and listen and hold onto every word they say. He comes home and loves to have us sit down while he teached us what he learned. He thinks I'm amazing because I know all the Primary songs he's singing. Just about everynight he askes me to sing him to sleep with his favorite, "I Am A Child of God". I just can't resist.

Symi:
WOW!! This girl is on the GO!!!! Now that she is feeling better she is WILD!!! She is constantly moving and if she isn't she screams and SCREAMS!!! She is trying to hard to crawl, but just has no coordination. Hopefully it will come soon. She loves to jump in the jumper for hours each day. Now that she's eating better, she's sleeping better too! In fact she started to struggle one night. Then the whole week she was a little grumpy. Well I noticed while I was feeding her that 2 teeth had popped through!? When did this happen!? With Ben he had swollen gums for months and slobbered like a St. Bernard! All she did was get a little fussy. Teeth!? Yeah I can handle a baby teething compared to what we've been through. She loves to scooch everywhere and play with everything that Ben has. She's loosing interest in all the "Baby Toys" that we have for her. But hopefully getting outside soon will help calm her down. She also LOVES books and having someone read to her. That's about the only time she'll hold still. Another thing she loves is balls! She goes NUTS!!!! CRAZY!!!! Shaking and squealing at the top of her lungs when she sees a ball and then raises the knotch when she get's a hold of it!!!! Symi has loved growing up and eating real food now. We just have to be super careful of everything she eats. Nothing with milk in it. Makes her REALLY grumpy and then makes for very messy diapers! Ewe! Anyways, she is growing and gaining weight. The other day Dane was changing her diaper and said,"Wow, Girlie!!! So there is where you've been hiding all your rolls!" She is starting to finally chunk out! Oh I love it! My babies have been skinny until now!

Dane is almost finished with his first year of student teaching and is learning and loving it. We are excited to hear if we will be hired at the beginning of May! There are so many major changes coming our way! I just hope we are prepared for all of them!

Today

Today we are loving life. I made some homemade green playdough and be went to town!! He played with it for 2 hours. I finally convinced him that we needed to put it away because it was starting to dry out and crumble! He is so funny to watch! He loves to pretend and is very serious about it! The other day he was telling me how excited he was about going to see Grandpa.
He told me this:

B: Mommy, I'm going with Grandpa. We're going to find some horses and go riding. Then we'll go huntin deers with our big guns. Then we'll find some water that isn't hard and go fishin too!

(he then stops. Worry washes over his face and then he started to bawl.)

I was concerned and didn't know what was going on!

M: Ben what's the matter?

B: Oh Mommy. I can't go fishin!! I don't have a fishing pole!! (more sobs)

(followed by my laugher)

M: I'm sure that someone in our family has one that you can borrow.

B: Ok. But Mommy, it has to be a small one because I'm just little and I want to carry it all by myself.

Too much fun!


Symi is doing so well!! Improving everyday and making us so proud!!! She has been eating solid foods since January and LOVES it!! She HATES to be on the floor playing while we are eating! Even if she's just been fed. She'll sit down with us and want to eat whatever is on our plates! She get frustrated when it's not coming fast enough and will lean over and start knawing on the table edge and growl until she's fed again. Silly girly!

Naps are starting to become more consistant! Sad to say now that she's just turned 7 months old! She used to get up at nights about every 30 minutes. LONG NIGHTS!!! Then be up for the day around 5ish. Well lately she's been starting to go from eating 3 oz. every 2 hours to 5 oz ever 3-4 hours!! HEAVEN!!!! (Can you hear the angels singing? Because I sure can!) Anyways, that means that she is starting to sleep SOOOOOO much better at nights!!! I will wake up 4-5 times to give her the "Mee-Mee" and then she'll fall back asleep. Then she'll be up about 1 and is hungry for a bottle. Then she'll fall back asleep until 4 or 5 in the morning! I know that's early for some but it's AMAZING TO BE GETTING MORE SLEEP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't feel or quite look like a Zombie anymore!! Horray for living! Symi has also been sitting up since the middle of February and loving it!! She is so much more happy to be up and looking around! She also loves to reach for all she's worth and scoot her little bum wherever she wants to go. Which right now is starting to be everywhere! She wants to crawl, but her arms just are not strong enough to hold her up. Her legs are though and she'll stick her little bum clear up in the air. She has strong legs from the jumper. We started putting her in it when she was only 2 months old because she just wanted to stand. Well now she'll jump way forward and then let her legs go limp and she slides backwards. Then she'll jump way forward and do it all over again! She LOVES to be on the move!! We call her our "Go-Go-Go Girl"!!! The harder . . . the faster . . . THE BETTER!!!!! She gets very jealous when the boys wrestle around on the floor and she is not involved!! She just wants to be everywhere at once! Someday she'll slow down. Maybe.

Well we'd just thought that we share a written picture of our days lately. I know it's not the same as those cute smiling faces but hopefully we'll get some more pictures up soon!!

Mommy! Take my picture too!

This is typical at our house. Ben LOVES his little Symi.
She only loves it for a moment and then she's done!

Mom, Look where I put my sword!
Hold still I can't get a picture.

See Mom, I'm tricky. Go get the camera please, I'll wait.

Better picture of his sword, with once again the "Peter Pan" stance.

Just reading.

Humm this is a really good book!

Hi Mom, can I hold the camera.

Wait, you want another picture of the "Princess".

Check out how different their eye color and shape is. I LOVE them both!

Say Cheese! No Ben put your teeth back in and stop being silly.

Playing with toys.

Good Morning! I'm always this awake and happy at 5 am!

Giggling at Ben.

Mom, I love my Symi!

She loves him too!
(The overalls were made by my Mom! We were stretching out the buttons to make them fit.)

Giggling at Ben again.

Another shot of how cute the overalls are!

We had just gotten home from the hospital and she was SOOO tired!
She was playing with her toys and fell asleep.

Just an update. Symi was in the ER over the weekend. She and Ben both have bad colds. She stopped eating again and became dehydrated. We went into the ER for IV treatments and some lab work. Everything came back as normal and she is doing a little better. The cold is still bugging her and she's still not eating the best. Hopefully we'll all be getting better soon!

Sneak Peek!!

Um . . . . there's more to come!

Pictures

I'm trying to upload more today. So hopefully there will be more pictures of us soon.

Hopefully!?

Tender Hearts

Today I was sitting here thinking. I haven't had a lot of time to sit and think since we've come home. It's been quite busy and sometimes stressful. But I can't help but think . . . . . . how blessed I am to be a mother. I have 2 beautiful children that mean the world to me. It's amazing how much your love grows when you realize that these beautiful children are yours to teach, nurture, love, and help grow.

At times I just sit and hold Symi. Just looking at her and thinking how lucky I am, we are, that she's here with us. That we are able to have her for 1 more day. To love, hold, kiss, and find the sweet joys in a day.

She is improving. It's so wonderful to see! She struggles with sleep. Which means we do too. But I love that she's home with us. That she's giggling. Smiling. And jabbering up a storm! She'll light up a room with her cute smile. Her round little face is just so contagious when she jabbers at you and wants you to pay attention to just her. Well it's irresistible.

Remember

I received this email today. It is so amazing. Beautiful. Touching. It's changed my perspective on so many things. I loved it and wanted to share.

You will enjoy the new insights that Rick Warren has, with his wife now having cancer, and him having 'wealth' from the book sales.

This is an absolutely incredible short interview with Rick Warren , 'Purpose Driven Life ' author and pastor of Saddleback Church in California ..

In the interview by Paul Bradshaw with Rick Warren , Rick said:

People ask me, What is the purpose of life?

And I respond: In a nutshell, life is preparation for eternity. We were not made to last forever, and God wants us to be with Him in Heaven. One day my heart is going to stop, and that will be the end of my body -- but not the end of me.

I may live 60 to 100 years on earth, but I am going to spend trillions of years in eternity. This is the warm-up act - the dress rehearsal. God wants us to practice on earth what we will do forever in eternity...

We were made by God and for God, and until you figure that out, life isn't going to make sense.

Life is a series of problems: Either you are in one now, you're just coming out of one, or you're getting ready to go into another one. The reason for this is that God is more interested in your character than your comfort; God is more interested in making your life holy than He is in making your life happy. We can be reasonably happy here on earth, but that's not the goal of life. The goal is to grow in character, in Christ likeness.

This past year has been the greatest year of my life but also the toughest, with my wife, Kay , getting cancer. I used to think that life was hills and valleys - you go through a dark time, then you go to the mountaintop, back and forth. I don't believe that anymore.

Rather than life being hills and valleys, I believe that it's kind of like two rails on a railroad track, and at all times you have something good and something bad in your life.

No matter how good things are in your life, there is always something bad that needs to be worked on. And no matter how bad things are in your life, there is always something good you can thank God for.

You can focus on your purposes, or you can focus on your problems: If you focus on your problems, you're going into self-centeredness, which is 'my problem, my issues, my pain.' But one of the easiest ways to get rid of pain is to get your focus off yourself and onto God and others..

We discovered quickly that in spite of the prayers of hundreds of thousands of people, God was not going to heal Kay or make it easy for her- It has been very difficult for her, and yet God has strengthened her character, given her a ministry of helping other people, given her a testimony, drawn her closer to Him and to people..

You have to learn to deal with both the good and the bad of life. Actually, sometimes learning to deal with the good is harder. For instance, this past year, all of a sudden, when the book sold 15 million copies, it made me instantly very wealthy. It also brought a lot of notoriety that I had never had to deal with before. I don't think God gives you money or notoriety for your own ego or for you to live a life of ease.

So I began to ask God what He wanted me to do with this money, notoriety and influence. He gave me two different passages that helped me decide what to do, II Corinthians 9 and Psalm 72.

First, in spite of all the money coming in, we would not change our lifestyle one bit... We made no major purchases.

Second, about midway through last year, I stopped taking a salary from the church.

Third, we set up foundations to fund an initiative we call The Peace Plan to plant churches, equip leaders, assist the poor, care for the sick, and educate the next generation..

Fourth, I added up all that the church had paid me in the 24 years since I started the church, and I gave it all back. It was liberating to be able to serve God for free.

We need to ask ourselves: Am I going to live for possessions? Popularity? Am I going to be driven by pressures? Guilt? Bitterness? Materialism? Or, am I going to be driven by God's purposes (for my life)?

When I get up in the morning, I sit on the side of my bed and say, God, if I don't get anything else done today, I want to know You more and love You better. God didn't put me on earth just to fulfill a to-do list. He's more interested in what I am than what I do. That's why we're called human beings, not human doings.

Today

Today is getting better. Symi occasionally struggles to eat. Sometimes she'll just scream out of no where and for a while. We're still struggling with her though. Life is nothing like it was before all this happened, but these last 2 days have felt more normal than I've felt in months!

Right now my heart is so extremely full. I am completely overwhelmed by the phone calls, offers for help, meals being offered, and a shoulder to cry on. I truly was thinking selfishly when I said I feel so all alone. I now know better. I can never say Thank You enough to all of you. I'll never be able to repay you for such kindness to me and my family right now. I feel so up lifted! I feel so much better. I feel like we can conquer this now! Instead of it conquering us!

This probably sounds silly, but I am so choked up over the enormous responds by so many. I was only trying to find someone to talk to because Dane had been gone all day. I read back now and I was pretty upset at the moment. It really was a bad day that was only getting worse! But now I feel like I have an army backing me up every step of the way.

Thank You. From the bottom of my heart. Thank you.

Symi

Well the other day we had an appointment with our Pediatrician to discuss what happened with Symi at Primary's and to discuss future plans.

When all was done, I crawled into my car and cried. It wasn't the news that I wanted to hear. It wasn't where I thought we were going.

Our Dr said that the previous day he had been on the phone with Primary's for over an hour. Discussing everything that went on and deciding what they wanted to do for her future. When we got there the Dr really didn't smile, but was straight forward and very concerned. He told us that the only reason why we got released from Primary's was because she started eating on her own. And that they knew that we just wanted to go home. They diagnosed something for liability reasons and sent us home with a "plan" as well. But as far as they knew, they had no idea what was really wrong with her. Our Dr described it as us covering up something with a BIG bandaid. He told me that he expecting the "episodes" to come back. And that the Dr's at Primary's expected us to come back too. They are all stunned and extremely puzzled by this little girl. No one knows what is truly wrong or how to help her. They were glad to see that she responded well to the formula and all the different medications.

When we went to see the Dr she was starting into another "episode" of not eating. We were going on 7 hours. Our Dr informed us that if she didn't start eating by 10 hours to take her back to Primary's ER and start all over again. I asked him," Are we just suppose to keep this girl alive through ER visits with IV's and feeding tubes!?" He said," Yes if that's what it takes we'll do it." The Dr informed me that it's now all in my hands. To do whatever it takes to get calories, fluids, and regular bowel movements for this little girl. He told me that our next step that was going to be taken at Primary's was a head CT scan. He suggested that if they do that, that they do a full body CT scan instead. So far they have no leads. No where to turn for testing. And are hoping that she will continue to grow and develop like a normal child.

So these last few days I've just been trying to swallow this big chuck that I've been given to chew. I haven't wanted to post because it's been really hard for me to take. The reality is kind of hard.

I was so grateful when she took a bottle shortly after we returned home. I am even more grateful that she's continued to eat since that day. Each day is so different. One day she'll be normal. Smiley, giggly, super active, eating and sleeping well. Then it's like someone turned on a light switch and we're back to the fussy, uncomfortable, not sleeping, and ornery baby. Sometimes she'll just scream and scream and scream. It's hard to just lay her in her bed, but she arches her back so hard that it's nearly impossible to hold her.

My house is a mess. I have dishes piled like a mountain across my counter. Laundry that really needs to be done. (Dane keeps asking if I've done this batch or that batch. Finally he said today, Honey, I'm trying to be patient, but this is the 3rd day that I've had to wear this shirt. Could you please wash some today so that I can wear a clean on tomorrow?) You could eat food off the floor, only because it's has spilled food and crumbs all over. The Relief Society has offered to make meals for me ever since we've arrived home. So far we've gotten one. That was the only thing I asked for them to help me with. I didn't ask them to alter their lives and come stay with me every sleepless night. Sitting up with a fussy baby, and restless toddler. I didn't ask them to come and deep clean my house. I didn't ask them to take Ben for a few hours in a day to give him someone to play with and allow me a nap. I didn't ask them for the world. And they have already told me that my situation doesn't allow them to bring me anymore meals unless it's an emergency. Thanks. It would be nice if someone could sit with my kids for 15 mins. while I shower for the first time this week.

I just need to vent. Cry. Pick myself back up and try to tackle this all alone yet again. Dane is back to working 2 full-time jobs. Trying to function on even less sleep and keep a paycheck coming for all the added expenditures.

After our Dr's visit I went to the WIC office to pick up Symi's specialty formula. The lady that was over our "case" told me that they weren't going to give us the formula. That she didn't have an extreme enough condition to warrant her getting this specific formula. I wanted to kindly place my hands around her neck and strangle her!!! That was the last thing I needed to hear right then. I came undone. I said,"What does it take to warrant such a release for the formula? Does a baby have to go through a week of IV treatment. With a feeding tube shoved down her nose making her eat while she screams and cries! Does a baby have to have a diagnosis to have such a formula avaiable when right now it's the only thing keeping her alive!? What more do you guys want in order for me to get the formula!??!?!? My right arm!" I was a little upset. I was really mad. Finally she said,"Well you did finish all the paperwork. I'll see if I can't send a few of them home with you." AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SO finally I walked away with a some more formula. That I have to get a Dr's release everytime I go or else Symi has nothing to eat. Great people. Just great.

My nerves are shot. My baby still cries. And I only want her to be happy and healthy. I guess it's a lot to ask for right now.

WHAT!?!?

Ben: Mommy, would you hurry up already? My brother wants to come!

Me: WHAT!?!? What are you talking about?

Ben: He's waiting and wants to come here. So you just need to hurry ok!

Me: We just had a sister, do you really need a brother right now.

Ben: Yeah, we have a sister. But my brother wants to come.

Me: ok

(Where this came from I have NO idea! I'm in shock!)

New Year

So I didn't think coming home would be so much hard work!! Trying to keep 5 different medications, doses, and timing straight is enough to make someone crazy! Along with keeping records of eating and dirty diapers is insane! I didn't think that coming home would be so complicated! But it's been wonderful to be home.

Symi has been doing ok. She's still struggling from time to time. But the medications seem to be helping and eating is pretty much back to normal. The only struggle we've had to far is that poor Symi is struggling to sleep. She slept horribly in the hospital and has brought her new habit home. Nights have been torture for Dane and I. Sleep deprevation is tough. But we seem to be working through it ok. Each day naps are improving and sleep at nights, well we'll keep praying that she can sleep better!

My house has been an absolute wreck since we've gotten home! Everyday I keep trying to clean a little bit here and there. But it's getting the better of me. It's been so wonderful to have some meals brought in and to find out that I don't have any Visiting Teacher's assigned to me. A dear sweet lady, AKA bishop's wife, has taken our family under her wing. She has been extremely kind and so thoughful of us. What a wonderful lady!

Our "Holiday" really didn't feel like one. Usually your surrounded by family, good food, and lots of visiting, gaming, and time together. This year was spent in the hospital just Dane, Symi, and I without family or Ben. It was really hard to be apart. I kept telling Dane it feels like we didn't even get to enjoy Christmas this year. We called Santa on the night of the 23rd and asked him to come early. He came. We quickly opened presants, and started to prepare and make plans for Primary Children's. We felt like we didn't even get to enjoy a full day of Christmas. But we were pleasantly surprised when Dane's family wanted to come down for a night and spend some time with us! So we rang in the New Year with good food, good times, and a sigh of relief for Dane and I. Even though it wasn't much or very long, it was so enjoyable! Thanks guys!

So now tomorrow will be a true test of strength for me. Dane leaves me alone to go back to work. I hope that the struggle will be easier to bear alone. I also pray that Ben will be patient with Symi and I while we all figure this out together. We're home, but it's the toughest time that we've had yet. Please keep our family in your prayers. We have felt them, and continue to need them!

We're Home!

We were released on Tuesday late afternoon to take our Symi home! She is on 5 different medications and a specialty formula that costs $65 for a 14 oz can! But putting it all together she is eating again. And she was eating enough to keep herself hydrated and maintaining her weight. So they sent us home.

Dane wanted to put a sign on our front door that says "Pharmacy". Seeing how between me and the kids we are all on 10 different medicines! Wow! Anyways, we are so glad to be home. We have to keep a constant record of her eating habits and medications. These last few days have been rough and hard to remember everything. But I'm sloooooowwwwllllyy, starting to remember.

She is acting SO much better and really is such a happy baby! She is trying to roll around more and more. And reach for everything. Then try to get it to her mouth as quickly as possible. She has been squealing, giggling, and jabbering so much! It's so nice to see after so long of not having her happy. When she and Ben saw each other for the first time in almost a week, Symi could not stop smiling! And Ben didn't want to leave her side! I as a Mom melted to see how attached they are to each other and how much they really care for each other too. It's amazing that even though they are so young they already have such a bond!

The only thing that she's still struggling with is sleep. She really has a hard time at nights and Dane and I take turns with her. Last night on my shift she pooped, and then was up for 2 hours straight. We had a good time together. Her being fussy and me walking back and forth with her until she fell asleep. Then I quietly laid her in her bed, kissed her cheek, and listened to her sign quietly as she fell into a deeper sleep. I'm so blessed to have such wonderful children. Despite all the health problems they have, it's not so bad. I love them both so much!

We also wanted to say a special Thank You to everyone who participated in our fast for Symi. We have a strong testimony now as we watched miracles and blessings happen from fasting with such faith. The Dr's didn't think we'd leave for a long while. They were so shocked when she made such a HUGE and quick turn around. Going from being so sick to being so well! We are truely blessed.

Hope that you all had a wonderful and Merry Christmas this year!

Today

Well today started off looking rough and bad.

Last night Symi struggled through the feeding through the tube. She was sleeping pretty good though. Really fussy and upset. It took them a few hours to console her enough to go back to sleep.

This morning we started off with a Swallow study. They x-rayed her while they were having her swallow barium. She LOVED the barium and kept drinking and drinking and wanting MORE!! After we came back she accepted a 3 oz bottle and then crashed and slept hard for a few hours. We haven't seen either of these 2 things since we've arrived! Huge steps! After the swallow study was done we talked with a GI specialist. She changed up the meds a bit and put her on a specially made formula from the pharmacy. Miracle #1 she ate it and has been eating it ever since this afternoon!!!! We were able to take her off her IV fluid too and hope that if she can continue to eat on her own we will go home soon.

Today had its rough moments. But so many Big Steps today that we didn't know when we'd see them! We are so happy and grateful to all those who fasted and prayed for our little Symi and family yesterday!! I cannot thank you enough. We are seeing the blessings and feeling the strength as parents. Thank you.

So we're hoping for a wonderful day tomorrow! I'll try to keep you posted!

Update

Symi has been having a pretty rough day. And according to the Dr's tomorrow is going to be really tough. But hopefully we'll start to see some results and answers. I guess I'm just tired of sitting and waiting. So it's nice for me to see them really start to take some action.

Today she was started on a feeding tube that was place through her nose into her stomach. They started the feedings and immediantly she start to scream. Not fun at all. She was very upset for almost 2 hours after she ate too. Very fussy today and could not get comfortable. Same results happened when they tried to feed her a second time today.

I needed a break. Found a quiet hall to myself and bawled. I was starting to feel better. When a woman approached me and informed me that we were neighbors. She was right across the hallway with her daughter. She asked if we were alright because it seemed like we were sure having a rough day with Symi. I started to bawl again. I was thinking today that no one in this hospital seems to really care or take as much concern about Symi as Dane and I have been. So after we spoke for a moment. I felt much better. She kindly asked if she could give me a hug. Here we were instructed not to touch each other. As it can cause disease and sickness to quickly spread. I sigh really big and said yes. Then started to bawl all over again. She said," You know sometimes it's really tough in here. And all you need is someone to wrap their arms around you." She was so right.

Tomorrow they want to start a more aggressive approach to this. They were talking about doing an Endoscopy on her. We were doing this last year with Ben so it wasn't anything new to us. Other than she's the age where she cannot be awake. She has to be put under. That's so hard to hear. I don't know if they really will do it. We've been hearing for days of different things that they want to do and nothing has happened according to "the plan". So everyday is an annoying waiting game. Now after 3 days they said," We know that your daughter is really having a hard time and that something more serious is going on." Really! Are you kidding me?! I've been telling you people this ever since we walking into the ER on Christmas Eve and you're now telling me that you've finally hear what I've said!! Wow. Someone needs to see an ear Dr. Anyways, I've been super frustrated and now and seeing a light at the end of a long tunnel.

I don't know how long we will be here for. They said that they won't release her until she can eat on her own, maitain her weight, and keep herself hydrated enough that she doesn't require an IV. So I'm sure we'll be here for a long while.

Primary Children's

We were admitted into Primary Children's for Symi on Christmas Eve.

She is struggling to eat. Infact she hasn't eaten since 4am. I don't have time to say much. So I'll be breif. She's not doing well. Loosing weight, struggling to eat, uncomfortable constantly, and starting to now sleep well.

Our plea. Tomorrow we are fasting for Symi. We are fasting to recieve inspiration for the Dr's. That they might know what is going on with her and how to help her. Please keep our small family in your prayers. We need them. We feel their strength and guidance.

It's tough, but we are trying to keep ourselves together.

I'll try to post as often as I can, but I can't promise you that it will be every day.

Symi Update

Ok so today's been a long, LOOOONNNNNGGGGG day!

Symi was very fussy last night and didn't sleep well. Neither did I. I truly felt like a yo-yo hitting the bed over and over last night only to jump back up to take care of Symi. At least Ben slept through the night!

This morning she wasn't eating well again. I fed her around 6:30 am last and then tried over and over again today for her to eat again. No success. She napped horribly today and just wasn't doing well. This afternoon she really got fussy and started screaming all over again. I called Dane and asked him to come straight home. We collected ourselves, finally found a babysitter for Ben (julie you are awesome! A HUGE Thank you to you!). And headed to the Dr's office. He was very concerned. He wanted to do just a simple x-ray to see if she was constipated. So we did. She's not constipated at all. So why is she going from being happy to screaming and not eating or sleeping? Well we just don't know. If it happens again our Dr has instructed us to head straight to Primary Children's Hospital. Hopefully for answers. He is concerned about her and wants to make sure that we are doing what's best for her. But he doesn't know what else to do.

So far she's finally drank a bottle and fell asleep on the way home. A huge relief!!! Hopefully it's not another long night. I can only yo-yo for so long!?

Keep us in your prayers. We need them.

Primary Children's

We returned last night and I was going to write. But Symi was restless and fussy. So I spent my time with her instead.

We went to Primary Children's Hospital yesterday for an Upper GI on Symi. We've already done this test on Ben so sad to say but it wasn't new. What happens is they get the child to drink barium then they take several pictures while it's going down watching for different things while she drinks. Well she drank 1/2 an oz. They wanted 4-5 oz in for the test. They gave us the biggest syringe I've ever seen and sent us back to the waiting room to see if we couldn't syringe it down her throat. She took a few more oz and then just started spitting it all out. So we finally put a tube down her nose and injected the rest into her stomach. She was a trooper until they put it down her nose. She got really stuburn and MAD!! wow! Anyways, the tube wasn't even in there for a minute. They got the stuff in. Took the tube out. Took several images. And said, "We don't know why you are here? Everything looks normal and just fine." We'll send the images and results back to your Dr. They sent us home to watch her and make sure that she doesn't throw up the barium and that it comes out the other end. And to keep her well hydrated

We went back to my sister-in-laws house and spent the afternoon there waiting for it to digest. We ate some lunch. Dane and I took naps. Then we packed up and headed back on the road.

When we got home I called the Dr and asked if he'd gotten the images that we sent. He look them up and said yes. I asked him why we went down there on such an urgent matter because everything looked so normal. He said that he and the Gastroenterologist wanted to know if her anatomy was backwards. (meaning that her organs were place opposite of what they should be) If she did, there can be lots of complications with that. Our Dr and the Gastro Dr both wanted us to be at Primary's for the test in case if they need to admit us and start correcting the deformalities if there were any. He said that we went down there not knowing because he didn't want to scare us or cause us to panic because they didn't know yet.

So we are home now. Things are going just fine. Her anatomy is in the correct place and she is slowly falling back into her "normal". We are monitoring her closley to see if this "episode" happens again. If so we are instructed to return to the ER again. But for now we are to treat her like she's just constipated. They want her on some juice everyday and if that doesn't work than try a glycerin suppository. (oh fun) We're hoping for juice. So far things are moving along by themselves. She is sleeping a lot. But that's normal. We're still trying to find sleep so the nap the other day was very welcomed!

I hope that you are all having and will have a wonderful Christmas! Ours is one we'll always remember!